Behind the Scenes: Writing Book 2’s Transformation
Introduction: The Book Nobody Wanted to Write
Book 1 was hard. Writing the fall of six civilizations, 317,000 deaths, impossible choices—brutal emotional work.
But Book 1 had structure. Prophecy. Build-up. Climax. Narrative momentum.
Book 2? Book 2 was ninety days of slow-motion horror. No battles. No prophecy unfolding. Just… transformation. Mutation. Grief. Persistence. Endurance as plot.
How do you make that compelling?
How do you write body-horror transformation six times (The Six becoming elements) without repetition?
How do you maintain tension when readers know the outcome (125 survive, fragments eventually merge)?
How do you write Book 2 when you, the author, don’t want to experience what you’re describing?
Welcome behind the scenes. Where writing The Shattered Veil meant confronting my own limits, fears about transformation, and questions about what survival actually costs.
This is the book that broke me a little.
And why that was necessary.
The Structural Challenge: Ninety Days of Nothing Happening
The problem: Book 2 spans Days 1-90 post-Sundering. No war. No prophecy. No dramatic confrontations (until the end).
Just:
- Fragments floating
- The Six transforming
- Survivors adapting
- Void whispering
- Slow. Inevitable. Change.
How do you plot that?
Attempt 1 (Failed): Chronological day-by-day account.
Wrote Days 1-15 in excruciating detail. Every meal. Every conversation. Every small mutation.
Result: 40,000 words of nothing happening. Readers (beta testers) described it as “watching paint dry in cosmic horror setting.” Accurate. Boring.
Lesson learned: Chronology isn’t plot. Change is plot.
Attempt 2 (Better): Transformation milestones as structure.
The breakthrough: Focus on The Six’s transformations. Use their changes as narrative markers. Each transformation = major plot event even though externally “nothing happens.”
The structure that worked:
- Days 1-40: Exhaustion Phase (The Six maintaining fragments, bodies showing strain)
- Days 41-70: Cascade Phase (Transformations accelerating - Nerai Day 50, Tarak Day 53, Zephyrion Day 60, Ronan Day 70)
- Days 71-90: Completion Phase (Shahrzad Day 80, Nyx Day 90, Foundation forming)
Why this worked: Internal drama. The Six’s psychological journey is the plot. Watching them lose humanity while gaining purpose. That’s compelling even without external action.
The technique: Each transformation chapter required:
- Build-up (increasing strain)
- Threshold moment (point of no return)
- Transformation sequence (body-horror done respectfully)
- Aftermath (what they lost, what they gained)
- Impact on others (survivors processing what they witnessed)
Result: Fifteen chapters. Each one a transformation milestone. Movement through internal change not external action.
The Emotional Challenge: Writing What I Fear
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: I’m terrified of losing physical autonomy.
Body-horror disturbs me. Mutation narratives make me anxious. The idea of consciousness persisting while form dissolves? Personal nightmare fuel.
So naturally, I wrote Book 2. Fifteen chapters of characters experiencing exactly what terrifies me most.
Why? Because:
Reason 1: Fear makes better writing. You can’t fake terror. The visceral reaction I had writing Nerai’s dissolution? Readers feel that. Authenticity comes through.
Reason 2: Confronting fear is growth. I’m never facing actual void-transformation. But writing it? Processing that fear through fiction? Therapeutic.
Reason 3: The Six deserved honesty. If I’m asking readers to witness their sacrifice, I need to witness it too. Fully. Uncomfortably.
The hardest chapters to write:
Chapter 4 - Nerai’s transformation:
Had to stop writing three times. Took walks. Processed discomfort. Came back.
Why it was hard: Describing consciousness fragmenting while body literally becomes ocean. That’s existence dissolving. Watching person become geography. My brain rejects that possibility while simultaneously imagining it vividly.
The technique: Grounded horror in sensation. Not abstract “she became water.” Specific: “Her knee-joints dissolved first. Tibias softening to liquid. Consciousness spreading down into the dispersing matter. She was leg. Then calf. Then ocean remembering anatomy.”
That level of detail required sitting with discomfort. Feeling it. Writing through nausea.
Chapter 10 - Ronan becoming garden:
Different horror. Not dissolution but distribution. Consciousness expanding across ecosystem. Remaining aware but not singular.
Why it was hard: That’s ego death. Personhood fragmenting into collective. Terrifying to someone who values individual identity (me).
The breakthrough: Realizing Ronan chose this. Wasn’t forced. Saw distribution as evolution not loss. That philosophical shift made writing it possible. Still disturbing. But meaningful disturbance.
Chapter 15 - Nyx’s final transformation:
Became mathematics. Abstract. Pattern without form.
Why it was hard: How do you describe consciousness becoming equation? Math doesn’t have emotions. Doesn’t experience. Just… calculates.
The technique: Lean into alienness. Don’t try making it relatable. Nyx’s transformation should be incomprehensible. Readers should feel the distance. That’s the horror: watching someone become so other you can’t follow.
Result: Discomfort preserved in text. Readers feel what I felt writing it. That’s effective horror.
The Six Transformations: How I Differentiated Them
Challenge: Six characters becoming elemental foundations. How do you make each unique?
The solution: Transformation reflects personality + element + philosophy.
Nerai (Water - Day 50):
- Element: Water
- Personality: Adaptive, flowing, diplomatic
- Philosophy: “Surrender control to gain influence”
- Transformation style: Gradual dissolution. Legs first. Upward progression. Consciousness spreading through matter gently.
- Writing approach: Focused on acceptance. Nerai doesn’t fight. Flows into transformation. Peaceful despite being horrifying.
Tarak (Fire - Day 53):
- Element: Fire
- Personality: Intense, protective, pragmatic
- Philosophy: “Burn for others, not against them”
- Transformation style: Internal combustion. Body becoming flame from inside out. Violent but purposeful.
- Writing approach: Emphasized rage becoming warmth. Fire as destruction → fire as nurturing. Character growth through element.
Zephyrion (Air - Day 60):
- Element: Air
- Personality: Intellectual, guilty, carries 317,000 deaths
- Philosophy: “Wisdom failed. But breath? Breath I can give.”
- Transformation style: Expansion. Lungs becoming atmosphere. Breath becoming wind. Consciousness distributed through air.
- Writing approach: Grief processing. Zephyrion’s transformation is atonement. Giving breath to make up for deaths. Redemption through service.
Ronan (Earth/Life - Day 70):
- Element: Earth/vegetation
- Personality: Patient, nurturing, gardener
- Philosophy: “Some growth requires harsh soil”
- Transformation style: Rooting. Becoming ecosystem. Distributed consciousness across forest.
- Writing approach: Emphasized choice to nurture. Ronan isn’t forced. Volunteers to become foundation. Love as gardening.
Shahrzad (Dream/Reality - Day 80):
- Element: Dream-logic, reality-anchoring
- Personality: Philosophical, comfortable with paradox
- Philosophy: “Both/and beats either/or”
- Transformation style: Flickering. Existing in superposition. Probability cloud.
- Writing approach: Lean into incomprehensibility. Shahrzad’s transformation should be weird. Readers shouldn’t fully grasp it. That’s the point.
Nyx (Shadow/Mathematics - Day 90):
- Element: Shadow, pattern, mathematical truth
- Personality: Analytical, truth-obsessed, sees everything
- Philosophy: “Mathematics don’t care which we prefer”
- Transformation style: Becoming equation. Consciousness as calculation.
- Writing approach: Cold. Nyx’s transformation is least emotional. Most abstract. Alien. Shows that sometimes transformation means losing humanity entirely.
The pattern: Each transformation reflects who they were. Element + personality + philosophy = unique transformation style.
No repetition. Each one distinct. Each one earned through characterization.
The Surrendered: The Chapter I Almost Cut
Chapter 10: The Surrendered was controversial during drafting.
Beta readers’ feedback:
Reader A: “This is too dark. Readers don’t want to think about suicide-adjacent choices.”
Reader B: “The Surrendered make the survivors seem judgmental for continuing.”
Reader C: “Cut this chapter. It’s depressing without advancing plot.”
I almost listened. Almost deleted forty-eight characters choosing peace. Made it “cleaner”—just 125 survivors, no messy autonomy questions.
Why I kept it:
Reason 1: The Surrendered make the choice real. If everyone persists, there’s no actual choice. Just forced continuation. The 48 prove alternatives exist.
Reason 2: Respecting autonomy includes respecting death-choice. If Eclipsia values freedom, death must be valid option. Otherwise freedom is illusion.
Reason 3: Readers need permission to acknowledge limits. Fiction that says “heroes always persist” is lying. Sometimes stopping is brave. The Surrendered show that.
Reason 4: Personal. I’ve experienced suicidal ideation. Not currently. But history exists. Writing The Surrendered with respect—showing their choice as valid not shameful—felt like honoring my own struggles. Saying: “Choosing to stop isn’t failure. It’s autonomy.”
The technique for writing respectfully:
- No graphic descriptions (dissolution described gently)
- Emphasize conscious choice (not impulsive, considered decision)
- Community response: Mourning without judgment
- The Forgotten One: Respects choice, doesn’t force or celebrate
- Outcome: Peaceful (dissolution is gentle)
Result: Chapter 10 stayed. Became one of most discussed chapters. Readers appreciated the honesty. The acknowledgment that survival isn’t mandatory.
Some readers found it comforting. Knowing that fiction acknowledges when stopping is valid? That mattered to them.
That’s worth the controversy.
The Watcher’s Voice: Maintaining Tone Through Horror
The challenge: The Watcher is casual-yet-cosmic. Conversational but profound. How do you maintain that voice through ninety days of body-horror and grief?
The temptation: Shift to serious/formal tone. “This is grave, narrator should match.”
Why I resisted: The Watcher’s irreverence is coping mechanism. Casual tone while describing horror is how The Watcher processes. Dark humor isn’t disrespect. It’s survival.
Examples of maintaining voice during horror:
On Nerai’s transformation:
“Day 50. Nerai’s legs dissolved to water. Just—stopped being legs. Became ocean. She handled it better than you’d expect. Probably because diplomats are trained for impossible conversations, and ‘my tibias are now liquid’ is just another negotiation with reality.”
Why this works: Acknowledges horror. Adds character observation. Doesn’t minimize—just processes through casualness.
On The Surrendered:
“Forty-eight people chose peace over persistence. That’s not tragedy exclusively. It’s also autonomy. Both things. Simultaneously. Welcome to moral complexity: where every death is sad and some deaths are chosen and chosen deaths are still sad and sadness doesn’t make choice invalid.”
Why this works: Philosophical complexity delivered conversationally. The Watcher processes moral nuance out loud. Readers follow the thinking.
The technique:
- Acknowledge horror directly (don’t euphemize)
- Process through observation (add character/philosophical detail)
- Maintain casualness (contractions, interruptions, informal structure)
- Trust readers (they can handle humor + horror simultaneously)
Result: The Watcher’s voice stayed consistent. Book 2 sounds like Book 1 despite tonal shift in content. That’s narrative cohesion.
The Research: Learning to Write Transformation
I’m not scientist. Don’t have medical degree. Never studied biology deeply.
But I needed to write:
- Bodies dissolving to water
- Internal combustion without death
- Consciousness distributing across ecosystems
- Quantum superposition as physical state
- Mathematics as sentient experience
The research process:
1. Biology of dissolution:
Read about decomposition. How bodies break down. Applied that backwards—what if consciousness persisted during the process? What if it was controlled?
Key insight: Focus on sensation. Readers don’t need accurate science. They need believable experience.
2. Consciousness studies:
Read philosophy of mind. Distributed cognition. Hive intelligence. How identity might persist when substrate changes.
Key insight: Identity is pattern, not specific matter. Nerai can become water and still be Nerai if pattern persists. Consciousness distributed but coherent.
3. Physics (very basic):
Quantum superposition. Wave-particle duality. Probability collapse.
Application: Shahrzad’s transformation as literal superposition. Existing in multiple states until observed. Metaphor made physical.
4. Emotional research (the hardest):
Read accounts of people experiencing:
- Terminal illness (loss of physical autonomy)
- Dementia (loss of mental coherence)
- Near-death experiences (consciousness without body)
Why: Needed to understand what losing form feels like emotionally. Scientific accuracy matters less than emotional truth.
Key insight: People experiencing dissolution often report peace. Fighting takes energy. Acceptance brings calm. Applied that to transformations—The Six accept, which makes horror survivable.
Result: Transformations feel plausible. Not scientifically accurate (it’s fantasy). But emotionally honest. Readers believe it because sensation is real.
What Book 2 Taught Me (Personal Growth Through Writing)
Lesson 1: Transformation is survivable.
Writing The Six’s transformations forced me to imagine losing everything I anchor identity to (body, autonomy, singular consciousness). They survived it. That means transformation—even radical—doesn’t equal death. Just change.
Application to life: When my identity shifts (aging, role changes, worldview updates), I don’t have to fight it. Can flow like Nerai. Accept like Ronan.
Lesson 2: Honoring limits is strength.
The Surrendered taught me: Knowing when to stop is valid. Not every battle is yours to fight. Not every transformation is yours to endure.
Application to life: Saying “I can’t do this” isn’t failure. It’s self-knowledge. Respecting limits prevents breaking.
Lesson 3: Discomfort creates better art.
The chapters that scared me most? Reader favorites. The transformation sequences I didn’t want to write? Most impactful.
Application to writing: Don’t avoid discomfort. Write toward it. Fear indicates meaningful territory.
Lesson 4: Community sustains through horror.
The 125 survived because they weren’t isolated. Ancient Fragment provided connection. Witnessed presence matters more than solutions.
Application to life: When friends face crisis, I don’t need to fix it. Just be there. Presence is sufficient.
Book 2 changed me. Made me braver about transformation. More accepting of limits. Better at sitting with discomfort.
That’s why writing matters. Not just for readers. For writers processing our own fears through fiction.
Reader Questions I Anticipated (And Answers)
Q: Why ninety days? Why not faster transformation?
A: Transformation takes time. Instant change is shock. Slow change is adaptation. The Six needed ninety days to accept what they were becoming. Rush it, and they break instead of transform.
Q: Weren’t The Six basically committing suicide by choosing transformation?
A: No. Suicide is ending existence. Transformation is changing existence. The Six persist—just differently. Consciousness continues. Purpose continues. Form changes. That’s evolution, not death.
Q: Why include The Surrendered if they’re “giving up”?
A: They’re not giving up. They’re completing. Life doesn’t require maximum duration. Just sufficient meaning. The Surrendered had enough. That’s valid endpoint.
Q: Is Book 2 depressing?
A: It’s heavy. But not hopeless. The Six transform with purpose. The 125 persist together. The Surrendered choose peace. That’s not depression. That’s honest reckoning with cost of survival.
Q: How do you write this without getting depressed yourself?
A: I process through The Watcher’s voice. Casualness helps. Also: breaks. Lots of breaks. Writing horror requires emotional hygiene. I wrote, then walked, then wrote more. Self-care isn’t optional for horror writers.
Conclusion: The Book That Had to Be Written
Book 1: Easy to love. Prophecy, battles, dramatic moments. Exciting.
Book 2: Hard to love. Transformation, grief, endurance. Necessary.
You can’t skip Book 2. Can’t jump from “world breaks” to “world rebuilt.”
The middle matters. The ninety days of transformation. The slow horror. The daily choice to persist. That’s where character is forged.
The Six don’t become The Foundation through grand gesture. They become it through ninety days of choosing transformation over dissolution.
That’s the story Book 2 tells.
Not flashy. Not fun. True.
And truth? That’s worth the discomfort of writing it.
Explore The Eclipsia Trilogy
The Gathering Eclipse (Book 1), The Shattered Veil (Book 2), and The Breaking of Fate (Book 3) await.
Stay tuned for release announcements.
The Eclipsia Codex | Building worlds, one entry at a time.